Note from Deb: Networking was something I was pretty bad at for many years, yet looking back, it has become such an important part of my career. I often hear people talk about networking like it’s a necessary evil, but what if we looked at it instead as a powerful tool to be harnessed?
I worked with Ha nearly 20 years ago back when we were both “baby PMs.” (If you haven’t already, check out her guest posts on personal boards of directors and her experience as a fractional COO.) We each struggled with networking, but if you were to meet Ha now, you would never know. She always seems to know everyone and can be comfortable in all settings. She is my go-to for finding experts in the obscure and the mundane, and I completely trust her judgment and experience, so when she offered to write about her networking superpower, I was really excited. Here is her candid advice.
“You have such an incredible network!”
“I don’t have the network that you have.”
“How do I go about networking?”
“I’m so bad at networking! What’s your secret?”
I am still amused every time someone says these kinds of things to me, because I’ll let you in on a little secret: I was once a terrible networker.
Even now, I don’t have the network that Deb, PLG-expert Elena Verna, or lifestyle content creator Sahil Bloom have, but I do currently have 12,000 LinkedIn followers, and I’ve spent the last seven years intentionally building my network.
Networking is work. It is an investment of time and effort, but it also yields dividends. A great network includes people you can talk to, learn from, or be inspired by. It is not a transactional relationship or a quid pro quo. Rather, it is a way to connect with like-minded individuals who share your beliefs and passions, even if they aren’t immediate work colleagues.
I worked in tech for 16 years without ever intentionally building a network. Though you might not realize this knowing me now, I’m not a natural networker. I’m an introvert. I hate going to events and meeting people. It always feels so awkward to be in a room full of people, not knowing anyone, unsure how to break into a conversation. I always used to pray that people wouldn’t stare at me and pass judgment: “Oh, that’s the girl who doesn’t know anyone here and isn’t interesting enough to meet.”
So it surprises me when nowadays, people tell me that I seem like a natural networker. I’m not. However, over the years, I’ve built habits that have made me successful at connecting with others, and I’d like to share them with you today. If you’re interested in expanding your network, perhaps my story and my process will inspire you to take the NextStep.
Networking matters
Eight years ago, I learned that a former close friend from business school, Sandra Shih, had passed away due to cancer. I was devastated. We had been close in college, but over the years since, we had fallen out of touch. I had only seen her once after graduating… and then, just like that, she was gone.
Work and the daily grind have a way of pulling you away from the people you care about, but there’s no knowing how long those people will be in your life. This includes the people you work with. Shouldn’t we all be making an effort to maintain those relationships?
There’s value in building and sustaining connections, and you never know how that value will manifest. There are people I’ve helped find jobs, connect with others, and start projects—and plenty of others who have done the same for me. Many have become close friends, and isn’t that what life is all about? People will come in and out of your life, but if you don’t make a point to nurture those connections, you’ll never know where they might take you.
It took me a while to wrap my head around this. I understood the benefits of networking in theory, but in practice, I struggled to get out of my comfort zone. It took a career change to force my hand.
When I joined venture capital in 2016, I knew that the best way to get deal flow was to expand my network so founders would know who I was and reach out during their fundraising. At that time, I was a virtually unknown product leader coming into VC. I didn’t know many people in tech beyond coworkers from a past life (like Deb, whom I first worked with on the eBay-PayPal integration back in 2002). I wasn’t on anyone’s radar, but I knew if I didn’t start building a brand, I wouldn’t succeed in this space.
This process was completely foreign to me, and I felt lost, but I knew failure was not an option. Initially, it was uncomfortable, but just like going to the gym and getting fit, I learned that the hardest part is getting started. If you keep going, those first baby steps turn into habits, which eventually shape your identity.
Here were what those first steps looked like for me:
Practicing thought leadership
I had always had a goal of writing blog posts to get my ideas out into the world. To build that habit, I hired a writing coach (shout out to the amazing Ellen Fishbein!) and carved out time twice a month to get into the habit of writing.
I started by just putting my ideas on paper, before gradually learning how to craft an engaging story. I wrote posts on everything from how to build beloved products to my own journey from a refugee immigrant to the Ivy League to early eBay and the world of VC.
Was it intimidating to put my thoughts out there? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. It felt great to get LinkedIn messages from founders saying that my writing had educated them or helped them on their startup journeys. The more I shared my thoughts, the more I started to meet people and see deal flow.
Embracing public speaking
As a VC, I often got invited to speak about what I had learned during my 16 years as a product leader. To say my speaking skills were a bit shaky was an understatement, but I hired a public speaking coach, Lauren Weinstein, to improve the storytelling in my talks and help me with delivery and confidence.
Slowly but surely, I began to improve, until I was getting NPS scores in the 50-90 range, which is considered excellent. As I continued to speak publicly, people started seeking me out to be on more panels and give more talks. Through those events, I ended up meeting many startup founders and operators who shared that my words had inspired them. I no longer had to awkwardly break into conversations; people were now approaching me!
Building communities
Finding circles of people I could share interests, goals, and challenges with was a gradual process. But with each one, I saw my scope of connections grow, and I’ve benefited immensely from building those relationships. Here are a few of the communities I started:
Women in Product: I’ve always been passionate about elevating women in tech and getting more product women into the C-suite. In 2016, I got involved with Women in Product. I was eventually asked to join the board as we transitioned from a volunteer-led project to a 401(c) non-profit. Seven years later, I’ve met and collaborated with so many extraordinary people in the industry.
Product Leader Summit: Around that same time, I met Gib Biddle, former VP of Product and CPO at Chegg. Over coffee, we shared our frustrations about not having a network of VP product leaders we could learn from. Since this community didn’t exist, we decided we would build our own. This September, we will host our eighth Product Leader Summit, which has become a popular event among VP product leaders and product-oriented founders. Over the years, I have worked directly with dozens of these leaders on various passion projects, and many have become lifelong friends.
Breakfast Club: When I hit 10,000 LinkedIn followers, I decided to celebrate by starting a monthly Breakfast Club, where I bring together a small group of LinkedIn connections for a breakfast conversation. Many of my guests have told me they’ve used these meetings to build their own networks. A few of them have even started meetups of their own, connecting strangers in different cities to build bonds and friendships over a shared meal.
I became involved in these communities as a way to meet others who also cared about the things I was passionate about. The professional opportunities were just the cherry on top.
The networking flywheel
Each of these habits has gone a long way toward making networking easier, more comfortable, and yes, even enjoyable. And as my network has grown, I’ve noticed something interesting: Making connections has become a self-sustaining process.
After spending five years in venture capital, I joined Swimply, a marketplace that experienced Covid-fueled hypergrowth, as their CXO/COO. During this time, I lost touch with my network as I worked to build and scale the company’s business. After exiting Swimply, I took a sabbatical to reflect on what I wanted to do next and who I wanted to do it with. A LinkedIn post announcing that I was taking a break and officially “open for coffee chats” led to dozens of people messaging me to catch up.
Over the last ten months, I’ve been working as a fractional consultant, starting NextStep Advisory and Consulting with my business partner, Garrett Kelly. While our firm’s practice leans into Garrett’s superpowers of Strategy and Operations, I have learned to lean into my networking superpower to help my founders grow their businesses. Through the work I do with them, I’ve built a bit of a networking flywheel: By introducing them and their products to my network (and helping their startups grow), I have continued to expand my own network, leading to more opportunities, more connections, and so on. It’s an extraordinary privilege to be able to build authentic, genuine connections with people and get paid for it—and this is coming from someone who was once allergic to networking!
Building your network
Hopefully, my story inspires you to build connections of your own, but your goal doesn’t have to be to do what I do. Instead, figure out your own “why” for wanting to build your network and then decide how you want to go about it.
My best advice? Start small, with habits you can build gradually. Those habits are what will make networking a true muscle, and it may eventually even become your identity. Who knows? You may end up with people saying the same things to you: “You have such an incredible network! How do you do it?”
If you want to build your own networking superpower, here are some other tips I’ve learned on my journey:
Make time. If you are currently in a full-time role, this can be hard, but if you’re serious about building your network, you’re going to have to prioritize it. Consider blocking out one or two times a week to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in years or build new relationships.
Be helpful. In the spirit of being a Go-Giver, I try to end each networking conversation by asking “How can I be helpful?” and then following through. In this process, I’ve built the trust, respect, and credibility with my network to receive help in return when I need it. Before we started working together, I told one of my founders that whenever I call someone, they immediately pick up the phone—and I’m pretty sure he believes me now.
Find like-minded people. Make a point to join and get involved in communities you’re passionate about where you can find your circle. If those communities don’t exist yet, consider starting them. When you meet people who share your interests, goals, or passions, networking stops being a chore; it becomes a joy!
Find common ground. Meeting people can be awkward at first, especially if (like me!) you’re not a natural extrovert. But reaching out is easier when you know you have something in common with the other person. When you reach out, make your story their story. Emphasize your similarities, whether your background, passions, community work, or childhood experiences. These points of overlap are all chances to break the ice.
Find a role where networking is built into the job description. Joining the world of venture capital forced me to build my networking muscle as part of my job. But even if you’re not in a role today that lets you build a networking superpower, career pivots are always an option and worth exploring. (I would know, as I’ve pivoted my career multiple times.)
Look for shortcuts. If you still find it difficult to get started, it can help to join a community that will help you build and expand your network. I’m a big evangelist of Sidebar.com, which connects you with a small peer leadership group that meets regularly through facilitated sessions to grow and evolve together. Sidebar members are also using the community for networking—a bit like a curated LinkedIn, where growth-minded professionals can connect through 1:1 networking opportunities, member-only programming, and local meetups.
Networking should be joyful, and if you do it the right way, it can have a high ROI. Take it from me: someone who never in a million years would have thought of it as a superpower! I hope my story inspires you and gives you a few ideas as you start to build connections. If it opens doors for you, helps you grow in your career, or sparks joy that was missing in your normal daily grind, I hope you will let me know. And perhaps one day, you’ll share your networking success story with the world.
Ha Nguyen is the Managing Partner of NextStep Advisory and Consulting with her business partner Garrett Kelly. They are building a community of like-minded, passionate people, who are startup founders and strategy, ops, product and growth leaders who embody the spirit of being helpful. If that sounds like you, feel free to reach out (ha@nextstepfwd.com) to figure out ways we can partner together and collaborate! 🙌
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