I once sat down with my manager following my first meeting as part of the executive team. I remember telling him, “The one thing everyone in that room had in common was that they were able to speak and debate on any topic, with little to no preparation.” The discussion was so dynamic, and moved so quickly, that it was hard to follow—and even harder to jump in and contribute. It felt a little like watching a group of debaters, each quickly and easily making their point. I felt completely out of my depth, and I never really had a chance to give my perspective.
That meeting illustrated one of the strongest biases we have in the workplace: a preference for those who can think fast and speak quickly.
Think of your last executive presentation or management update. You had a short time to articulate your strategy or progress. Your words carried disproportionate weight—in some ways, more weight than the actual work you had done. Though these discussions make up only about 5% of the time you spend at work, they make up more than 50% of how others judge you. Time and time again, I have seen performance calibration discussions favor those who were the most vocal, articulate, and forceful in presentations, even if their work product was objectively weaker.
Fair or not, human nature is unconsciously biased toward those who can communicate quickly and think on their feet. We subconsciously use this as a proxy for performance and intelligence. This, of course, leads to us favoring those who are extroverted, speak English as a native language, have speech and debate training, and can think and speak off the cuff.
One team member who struggled with influence once told me, “I am a processor. By the time I figure out what to say, the conversation has already moved on.” She was often quiet in meetings, and while she was one of the most incredible PMs I knew, most people outside our organization didn’t realize it.
For better or worse, this imbalance is something we all have to grapple with in the workplace. The question is, how can we overcome this invisible bias? Here are a few suggestions.
If you are on the quiet side: learn to speak up
If you are someone who needs time to process or feels uncomfortable speaking up, there are things you can do to change that.
Start by acknowledging how important it is to make your voice and ideas heard, for your short- and long-term success. Then create a game plan. Speaking up can be daunting, so it’s important to break it down into actionable steps that don’t feel overwhelming. For example:
Think of an upcoming meeting where there will be open discussion time.
Set a goal for how much you want to speak up. Maybe you start with a quota of just one or two times during the meeting.
Prepare a couple of things you want to comment on ahead of time. Go as detailed as you need to in order to feel ready.
Plan ways to expand on your thoughts and ideas if people have questions.
Start by doing this in just one meeting, and then repeat the process at the next one, slowly raising your goal each time.
It will be uncomfortable at first. You will likely feel out of your depth or bad at speaking up, but over time, you will get better and more comfortable. Remember, your job in the early part of this journey is to just feel that you have a right to be heard. Speak about things you feel you are the expert in before you dig into areas where you are less comfortable. This will give you a leg up as you first start to experiment with speaking up. Then you can slowly work your way to giving more impromptu commentary.
Over time, as you gain confidence, you can start to level up your game. Joining Toastmasters, a coaching circle, or a Lean In group, can give you a training ground to try out new techniques. Create opportunities and safe spaces to test out your skills and get feedback.
Speaking up is a skill like any other. It can be learned. Yes, some people are born with a stronger affinity for it than you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t improve. With practice, you will surprise yourself with how confident you become.
If you are a leader: change the process
The popcorn style of speaking that most teams use heavily favors those who think and speak quickly. As a result, it hurts those who may need time to process, but whose input is equally valuable. By changing the way these discussions are conducted, you will get a more balanced point of view, as well as additional opinions and room for debate.
Here are four techniques I have used to ensure that everyone in a meeting has a chance to speak:
Send out a pre-read. Giving people time to prepare will ensure that everyone can have a thoughtful discussion. It will also allow more introverted team members to understand the direction of the meeting ahead of time. Simply providing this additional context will set the stage for a more inclusive conversation.
Ask people to fill out a survey. If you want to solicit opinions and insight ahead of time, ask people to write their points of view down prior to discussing them. This way, you can get a sense of what people think and share the results with the group for discussion. If you notice that a response you received isn’t being given time during the meeting, you can take steps to make sure the respondent gets a chance to advocate for their point of view.
Go around the room. Rather than only listening to the most vocal and outgoing speakers, try a more systematic approach. Giving each person time to speak ensures everyone can be heard on equal footing.
Call on those who have not spoken. Start keeping track of who is speaking during meetings, and who stays quiet. Actively solicit opinions from those who have not spoken yet by tying the discussion to something they work on or have mentioned previously. This will help them feel more comfortable jumping in.
Creating an environment where more people are heard will only benefit your company and your work. Teams with diverse points of view outperform those with only one perspective, because they see problems from new and different angles and challenge each other to sharpen their thinking. As someone who has influence over the way meetings are conducted, you can create a space where every voice is heard.
If you feel comfortable speaking up: be an ally
During our team all-hands, we would always save a slot for those who were launching new features or products to share their work. Since there was typically one person speaking for the whole team, the person who usually volunteered to do it was the Product Manager. The only problem? Because the PMs were dominating these slots, their perspective was the only one that was being represented.
Then one PM came to us and said, “I want my engineering manager to speak.” I agreed, though I was a bit worried about whether he would be prepared. His EM was one of the quietest people on the team. English was his second language, and while he thrived in 1:1 conversations, he rarely spoke up in larger meetings. The PM spent hours prepping his EM. They practiced and practiced, and when it came time to speak, the EM did an excellent job of presenting their product and progress.
From then on, we tried to mix up who spoke, rather than defaulting to the person who usually did the talking. It was a lesson in helping those who are less comfortable in the limelight.
The introverts in your organization have invaluable opinions and perspectives. To let them slip through the cracks is doing a disservice to your team.
If you are someone who is comfortable with speaking extemporaneously, try to help those who are less comfortable. Make space for them. Give them air time. Prep them. For those who naturally have this talent, I think it is hard to see how difficult it can be for others. But sometimes, all it takes is a little encouragement. By advocating for your quieter colleagues, you can gain valuable insight and strengthen your relationships.
I grew up extremely shy and introverted. Most people who know me now are surprised by that, but it’s true. I had to force myself to take speech and debate classes in high school. I became captain of my Forensics team my Senior Year of high school. When I went to business school, I made myself speak up in class so I would get a good participation grade. I learned that, to be an influential PM, I had to be willing to put myself out there and pitch my ideas, even knowing the answer was likely to be no. When they were offered, I took multiple speaker training courses at work. I signed up for leadership programs.
Today, I speak comfortably in front of people, but it took decades for me to get to this point. Even now, I sometimes feel out of my depth, like I’m saying something wrong. But I power through and work toward improving for next time.
If you could have seen me growing up, you would probably be shocked by just how shy I was. The thing is, most people are not born with the skill to discuss any topic intelligently and without preparation. But that’s the beauty of learning to speak up: with enough practice, anyone can level up their skills and improve their career prospects, no matter how shy they think they are.
As leaders, we have the ability to help make the playing field more equal, and as colleagues, we can vouch for our fellow team members. And if you’re a natural introvert, there are small steps you can start taking today to make your voice heard and your perspective known.
The hidden bias toward extroverts in the workplace is clearly not fair, but in many places, it’s all too real. No matter what your role is, you get to decide whether to ignore this bias or do something about it. The choice is yours.
Want to further your career? Here are some of the most viewed articles on my substack which address different aspects of career growth:
Avoid the Pitfalls of Taking on a New Role: Be aware of your surroundings in new situations to avoid traps.
Making the First 90 Days Count: A Simple 30-60-90 Day Plan that helps you get on the right footing for your new job.
PM Your Career Like You PM Your Product: Do for your career what you already do for your product
How workplaces favor those who speak up, and what you can do about itRead MorePerspectives
